Reddit was, and remains today, an excellent forum to explore and learn more about makeup, skincare, and the beauty world in general, but in using it I became trapped in a loop of my own making. I'm a chronic people-pleaser, and I took some kind of pride in the identity I forged there as a diligent question-responder, concept-explainer, and newbie-herder. I did these things to pay back the favor for users who did the same when I was learning the ropes, and I also did it because it conferred some privileges and attention from fellow Reddit users. I became fairly dependent on the validation of other users, who would praise my attentiveness and willingness to respond to even the dumbest or meanest posts. At the time, I was going through a difficult period of my personal life, and I didn't have emotional energy to fix my real life. So Reddit became an arena where I could give and get the things I was lacking offline. If you met me during that time, I wasn't a fake version of myself, but I was definitely an unevolved, tired, and unfulfilled individual.
At the same time, I generated a lot of original content on Reddit, not just replies to people's requests for help, and I wanted to feel more of a sense of ownership over that content. Reddit's anonymous and crowded interface, though my profile was attached to my real name and image, swallowed up the writing and photos I spent many hours on. And I wanted a separate space to feel proud of and call my own. This is what prompted my partial move to Instagram and a blog, which I completed almost a year ago, as the issues I had with Reddit multiplied. I quit that platform entirely when I realized that my former identity as a people-pleaser had stuck, and I was getting dozens of private messages a week from complete strangers begging for extensive time and attention to fix their issues. I also found that as readership in my favorite subs grew, the communities pandered increasingly to the lowest common denominators in any niche hobby: purchasing and complaining.
I'm entering a period in my life where I want to have an expansive, inquisitive perspective. Beauty as a hobby encourages, or enables, a small world perspective that stunts and limits my curiosity. It's not just the rampant consumerism, or getting tired of Instagram trends. I simply have zero interest in talking beauty, whether product, technique, or artistry, at the moment. Two of my favorite beauty blogs: Bad Outfit Great Lipstick and Auxiliary Beauty have recently shuttered and referred to their beauty hobbies enabling a certain laziness in their creativity. I feel the same way. What was once a necessary outlet for things I couldn't otherwise process has become a weight around my neck, distracting me from fulfilling pursuits and exciting new challenges. I'll be focusing on writing for myself in the next year. I may publish some of it here, or you may see it somewhere else, who knows! I won't be publishing new content on this blog. I will close the comments and leave up all the existing posts.
Faceonomics will continue on Instagram, though I now consider it entirely a personal account, and I don't intend to post any beauty junk, besides extemporaneous musings. Keep up with me there for food, cats, writing, and silly memes. Thank you so much for your readership and Internet friendship over the years!
